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.watch me turn you inside out. [entries|friends|calendar]
.An Empty Heart Full of Hate.

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To anyone who hates teens [29 Nov 2009|11:00pm]

This a note to all the old people who are sitting on their high horses and spitting down upon all of us teens.


Not all of us are like the notorius Miley Cyrus or any other Disney Channel whore you can think of. You just classify us all based on the well known stereotype. You think of us all as brainless and retards that cannot speak english correctly.

You act as though you were never young once. As though you've never made mistakes. You stand there smug, as though you're generation were completely void of fuck-ups. But we both know the truth. You're generation of teens were fucked up too.
.take a chance.

[12 Sep 2009|09:58pm]

fuck life
fuck the world
fuck men
fuck women
 fuck you

Everyone should just die.
.take a chance.

pretty flowers [01 Apr 2009|05:20pm]


they're so pretty,
as they chatter away,
strike me as petty,
hollow and fake,
the flowers of the year,
back-stabbers so quiant,
their aroma of fear,
whisper-hushed smiles,
can tear each other in two,
over boys, parties, and style,
mercy is such a rue,
sunlight brings out the truth,
another dies and wilts,
the flowers watch amused,
whisper-hushed kills,
why may i notice?
it's just what i have learned,
i am just a locust,
waiting for my turn,
to destroy the pretty flowers,
show them their fate,
past the may showers,
it's a date,
i bide my time,
watch the Mall geoncide,
'suits me just fine,
'along for the ride,
they choke one another,
without reason or mercy,
so vicious i shudder,
a mean-girls-turney,
they live by a creed,
the pretty survive,
on the weak flowers feed,
thankful by winter they'll all die.

.take a chance.

Contact me [30 Mar 2009|04:58pm]

[ mood | content ]

Have questions? Want to be anonymous? Well send me your questions. It is safe and your identify will not be given out. If your question is chosen it will be posted to </a></b></a>tswithtammysmth along with a response. A private response will also follow. All topics are welcome. From the weird to the norm, fetishes, fun, family or just a person to vent to. Visit me here on LJ or email me at   T.S.with TammySmith@gmail.com


.take a chance.

[23 Mar 2009|06:19am]

Dwight Yoakam - Guitars, Cadillacs

Girl, you taught me how to hurt real bad
And cry myself to sleep
And showed me how this town can shatter dreams
Another lesson 'bout a naive fool
Who came to Babylon
And found out that the pie
Don't taste so sweet

Now it's guitars, cadillacs, hillbilly music
Lonely, lonely streets that I call home
Yea, my guitars, cadillacs, hillbilly music
It's the only thing that keep me hangin' on
.take a chance.

Fuck life and all it has to bring [29 Dec 2008|11:49am]

I've become someone I despise and along with that I've learned to hate and never forgive anyone. My heads stuck in the past and I feel that I have ran myself into the wall. I want to change for the better but I'm scared, if I do go back to being the old sweet and kind me what will happen if I have to suffer through abuse again? For now I'm in a fucked up state of mind and honestly being this way makes me me safer. Hating and bearing a grudge from the past is what I do best but sometimes I just want to let it all go and be free. I wished I would've lived a better life so I wouldn't have to deal with who I am now or any of the bullshit be4. I'm at a loss right now b/c I hate who I am and I don't know how to change and be satisfied with who I will become at the same time.
I'm tired and emotionally drained as well as scared,
I've lost all the courage,
I could ever muster up again,
I feel that I have no more strength to look up anymore,
I've lost my pride the only thing I thought I had going for me,
my pride was the one thing I had to keep me going,
now hearing that people don't like who I am be/c of what I've become,
it hurts b/c I never expected someone else to feel the same way I do,
I'm lost.
==========++++----> :3 it feels better to share it.....and it feels even better that I didn't add any fucked up jokes...unlike what I did in my journals.......its funny what I am dealing with now isn't as bad as it sounds to most people but guess what I am still tormented by the past...... <//3
*What else do I hate people who compare their problems with others and say how they're suffering more then anyone else will! But guess what?  That doesn't make anyone feel any better and does it make the situation any better? No is doesn't so shut the fuck up<====*
(ps:I wish I would've told the people that had rubbed it in my face that their problems are bigger and even more worse then mine in real life)

.take a chance.

[01 Mar 2008|02:33pm]


Happy March PS fuck us people! been a while for me, here's something I thought was kinda cool
Read more...Collapse )
.take a chance.

Pretending to be Calm and Carefree [28 Jan 2008|12:10pm]

Hi there, ps_fuck_you! I thought I'd share a little visual poetry with you. It's not as angry as the average post around here, but it has plenty of nausea and weltschmerz, so maybe it fits in. It's from my visual poetry webcomic:

It's from a while ago, so I hotlinked the image. I hope you like i
.take a chance.

[10 Dec 2007|12:02pm]

"hey are you drunk?"
Well let's see, if i'm staggering around and i look disheveled. what the fuck do you think? and why would it fucking matter to you anyway? and just because i'm not completely sober does NOT give you any right to even THINK that you can do anything with me. i may not be really pretty or skinny, but you know what? i have morals. and standards.

"come on. just give me a kiss"
yeah. fuck you. seriously. you're such a piece of shit. how dare you! how fucking dare you grab at my wrists and touch me where i don't want to be touched. i wouldn't even let my fucking boyfriend do that shit. let alone some drunken asshole who i can't stand.
i hate you. i do. i truely and fully hate you with every fiber of my being. you're a waste of space. "HI I'M 22 AND I'M A 3RD YEAR COLLEGE FRESHMAN"
just go drink yourself to death already. i mean really.

"i just want to fuck you"
really? that's funny. last thing i heard from you is that you don't fuck ugly fat bitches. that you're good looking enough to get any female you want. you're so shallow and full of yourself. do you act like that because you know you're a pathetic excuse for a man and a human being? or do you really believe everything that comes out of your disgusting mouth.

and you...the follower. the one who kisses the ground he fucking walks on. you make me sick. "hi i'm a wrestler. i'm big and strong" FUCK. YOU. you stood back and watched. you sick fuck. and you weren't nearly as drunk as him. and video taping it? yeah. real fucking cool. in my mind, you're just as worthless as him.

oh and one more thing. when some one yells "no stop, you're hurting me" that's a signal to get your fucking hands off whoever you're touching.

i just want you to fall off the face of the earth. i've done nothing but sit in my room and have anxiety attacks all fucking day. i can't deal with this shit. i have finals and the rest of my fucking life to worry about. why should i even make this a big deal? i don't know. maybe because it shouldn't have happend.

who knows. maybe i should've just given you what you wanted. then you might've let me be. or perhaps you would've tried to take it further. yeah...i pick the latter of the two. why? because you're a horrible person who doesn't care about anything or anyone but yourself. you drunken son of a bitch. i hope you rot in hell and if you ever even think about coming near my friends, my room, shit even my floor...i will not hesitate to knock your fucking teeth out with a baseball bat. i swear to god. i won't stop until i see blood.

I want you dead more than any thing in the world.
2 pair of examinate eyes pound at the mirror .take a chance.

To Those Who Don't Listen [16 Jul 2006|01:02am]

Now you see
Go on laugh
You have ripped me apart
The only true memories I will ever remember
Are not my own
What is this world
What is this place
Every time I got close
Every time I felt alive
It was a lie
If only I could tell you
If only the noise would stop
If only I had not fade away
If only this
If only that
If only you would listen
I would not feel so much pain
I live in a world of 'what if's' these days
1 pair of examinate eyes pound at the mirror .take a chance.

[14 Jul 2006|10:34am]

how can we judge others if we are not yet all we wish to be
.take a chance.

Friends? [08 May 2006|02:12pm]

Songs/lyrics/quotes about how your friends don't ever make time for you, and you're NOT being selfish. You just at least want a phone call or even an IM if they're that busy? When they fucking sacrifice shit for their other friends, but not you, and you feel so left out and like nobody cares? Well that's how I feel. Sorry if I didn't follow the rules or bored you all. Thanks!
.take a chance.

[01 May 2006|12:21pm]

hey there everyone, I'm new :) and I really love how this community is so I thought i'd join and post some of my photography and thoughts. I'm 19 and from Santa Cruz/San Francisco.

stuffCollapse )
5 pair of examinate eyes pound at the mirror .take a chance.

don't protect me from myself [23 Mar 2006|04:21pm]

[ mood | angry ]

ya wanna know whatz weak as fuck is you bureaucracy humpin black eyed peas lovers can't take it that you're friends and family are stupid and irresponsible enough to KILL themselves in cars and everywhere while using drugs, alcohol, cars, guns and everything then it's gonna be blamed on the incidental substances or surroundings instead of the people, which in this case (although dead or disabled) become the victims or their own stupid irresponsible selves, so because their obviously blameless it all gets turned about to reflect poorly on the things involved, which by themselves have no bearing whatsoever with the incident. And sure I've had friends die from getting in the car with a drunk driver or things like that but it's got nothing at all to do with alcohol being negative! NOTHING, alcohol treats me and thousands of others very good each night, but the fact of the matter is, be it guns, drugs whatever. It's irresponsibility all the way. Stop attacking cigarettes and snow and shit. If you got fucked it's all you. Whatever it might have been, stupid shit happens everyday but that doesn't mean someone should have to protect ME from MYSELF. Leave me the hell out of your problems! why the hell do I get fined because I don't have a helmet, seatbelt, permit Kids are out there abusing all the fun things in life, and thats how it is. but goddammit you paper cumming fucks need to stop it with the legislations! I should not be affected by any of that shit goin down in LA LA has some fucked up people and they need more laws, fuck so cal.

4 pair of examinate eyes pound at the mirror .take a chance.

[02 Feb 2006|12:48am]

[ mood | frustrated ]

Ah Man I have no been this angry in a long time. Let's just say: I hate everyone.

You sir, are a jerkCollapse )

1 pair of examinate eyes pound at the mirror .take a chance.

[26 Jan 2006|10:36pm]

its been a damn long time since i posted here

First let me state, I am excited as fuck for college
..... but

I was sitting in my bathtub and staring at my wall and thinking "wow, I'm gonna be looking at a totally different wall when I showe next year." And It made me sad.

The thought of leaving my friends doesn't bother me at all. I know true friends stay friends. Maybe thats because I've changed schools so much, I don't know. But I know its true.

But when I start thinking about my home and my family.... it freaks me out. Don't get me wrong, I've gone away for about 2 months a summer for years. I love being away from home.

Only, have you ever been far away from home and gotten really really sick? It sucks. All you want is your mom and your bed. I was in the BVI for fucks sakes but I was so sick that all I wanted to do was get on a plane, fly home, get into bed and have my mommy feed me food that wouldn't taste as bad on the way up anymore.

Or what about that feeling of coming home? And you are just home. There is no fucking place like home. You just come back and your in a safe place, a place where you know you are loved.

I have kissed my dad goodnight everynight (except when I'm away) for 17 and a half years. I'm not going to have that next year.

What is going to happen when I get sick at school? I'm going to have to go buy my own ginerale. When my head hurts, I'm going to massage it myself. The only person who will put tiger balm on my shoulder when is swollen is me. When I come back to my dorm, am I going to feel like I'm safe or will I just feel like i'm in a strangers room, sleeping in their bed and just out of place? I'm going to have to kiss myself goodnight and so is my dad.

I keep getting this feeling of... am I ready? I feel ready. I feel excited and joyful etc.

But then I start thinking about, I'm only seventeen, I'll only just be eighteen when I start college. How could I be ready? I know we feel like adults, with our cars, jobs, our moving out, our love and our partying, but we aren't. It's like pacy said in dawsons creek, we're not adults. We're kids. In a year or two years or even three we'll look back at ourselves and go "wow, I was such a child." I don't care who feels like they are 28 year olds stuck inside a teenagers body. You aren't. Your a teenager and we still have so goddamned much to learn.

What type of experince do most of us have? Few of us have had to support ourselves. Some of us have never even had to manage our money, we just get what we want and spend what we want. Me, I've had to learn to budget but I can't say that about everyone.

We are immature and petty. And there isn't anything wrong with that. We're kids. We're just kids and we're going to have to deal next year. I know we are all excited and feel ready, but how can we be? Living on your own. It will be a wonderful thing but at the same time it is going to be a rude awakening. Fuck, it might not even be that for some people, some people will probably still have all the benefits they had when they were in highschool. I know that my parents are still going to help me out, but not like they do now.

So all in all, yes I want to go to college so badly. But I'm not stupid about it. I know that it won't be everything most of us think it will be. I know because I've talked to people. I know because I've thought about it.

And in conclusion, I still cannot fuckin' wait.
1 pair of examinate eyes pound at the mirror .take a chance.

[25 Jan 2006|07:54pm]

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
i've been laughing everytime I see this
1 pair of examinate eyes pound at the mirror .take a chance.

??????????? [17 Jan 2006|04:23pm]

ok ok im sooo bored and im looking for some new myspacer friends..
the world i live in now is soo boring so yah.
.take a chance.

[19 Nov 2005|02:16am]

Newer Tattoo, The three hour session makes it amazing Collapse )
5 pair of examinate eyes pound at the mirror .take a chance.

[17 Nov 2005|06:34pm]


It's just like lj, but they claim there are more pissed-off people on it.

People just might want to check it out.
7 pair of examinate eyes pound at the mirror .take a chance.

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